How can one be so happy one minute and sad the next? What is the point of feeling emotions when they change so quickly? How can life begin to feel bearable and then just feel so unbearable? What is the point of all this? Please someone give me an answer, because I just don't know.
If I say I don't wanna feel anymore what does that make me? A coward? If I could just flip a switch and stop feeling sad, angry, tired, or scared I would. But life doesn't work that way. It's not a switch you can turn on and off. Once it's off, it's off for good.
Everyone says "it gets better" and I believe them. But the problem is it doesn't "stay better". Life is a roller coaster it takes so long to get to the top and once you make it, it's a fast dive to the bottom. You can scream, you can cry but you can't stop. I think that for me is the saddest part.
You can take control of your life but if other people lose control of theirs then what's the point. Being in control in a place eclipsed by chaos just makes no sense. Just like loving someone who will never love you back.
I know I haven't blogged in a while and this is probably a terrible post to return with and I apologize for that. But I felt like I just had to write this.